Anxiety about schoolwork - any tips?

[elise1mds]

I've just begun HSing my 6.8-yo DS. This will be our third week of 'classes,' since we're following my DD's private preschool schedule. He has been on medication for ADHD before, last year, when he was attending kindergarten at the same private school DD is at now, but the more I work with him and understand how he works, I am about 99% sure he is Asperger's (with some ADHD symptoms, anxiety, dysgraphia, and sensory input issues on the side). He is not on medication now and is fine as long as I keep the stress level low. Technically, the diagnoses don't matter to me as long as he is happy to be learning at home, which he is. He loves being at home and homeschooling, and he's learning, progressing, and having a lot of fun... when he settles down.

The problem is that every time I present a subject to him, he freezes up. He is petrified that he can't do the work, no matter how basic or how many times we've gone over it. Once I sit down with him and work with him a bit to reassure him that he is capable of doing whatever it is, he laughs at his fears, but then he tenses up again when the next subject comes out. I'm not giving him a lot of book work or pushing him to do a lot of things in one day, but even the simple things send him into a frenzy. He got worked up the other day because I asked if he wanted to go outside and walk around and check out plants and insects and such for his 'science' for the day (not how I worded it, but that was the gist of the idea). He said he couldn't "do it right." Of course I then reassured him there's no wrong way to enjoy nature!

I keep reminding him that I'm never going to give him work that's too hard for him to do and that if he doesn't understand something that I'll always be happy to explain it and teach it better, but I don't think I'm getting through. Any tips? Anyone BTDT? Is this carry-over from kindergarten last year, do you think? I'd love any and all opinions since I'm so new at this. I don't want him to be scared to learn!

Thanks! :)

[Dobela]

It could be carry over from the year before and that will just take time to move past. My son though was always homeschooled and we had this kind of anxiety for a while. One thing that helped was for me to do the subjects in the same order every day and then to review briefly what we did yesterday before presenting today. It was sometimes the transition itself that triggered the anxiety. Another thing that helped was just the same reassurance each time, "Ds remember that I know you very well and that I am never going to give you something to do that you can't do. I want you to succeed. If I am teaching it, it is because I know you can learn it. It may be new, it may be different, but I am teaching this because you are smart enough to learn it and I believe you are ready to learn it." I didn't say all of that each time, but I did have to say something like it repeatedly.