It appears I will have one at home and one at school next year; some questions ??

[Christy B]

Grrr, I don't like the limits of the Title line (though I understand the reason).

I don't like saying I'll have one at "home" and one at "school" -- because to my thinking, they will both be at home -- we are simply choosing to delegate the academic portion of our eldest dd's education to the very capable hands of a local private Christian school. And while the youngest dd will be "at home", of course she will also be at school. I probably don't need to explain that to everyone here -- regardless of where my dds receive their academic training, I think I will always be a homeschooler at heart. A homeschooler who is absolutely delighted to step back and let *someone else* deal with the nitty gritty of frog dissection, thank-you-very-much.

Anyhoo: here are some questions:

Both dds are fine with this arrangement; older dd very much WANTS to go to this school (this is the first year, and the first school, that she has expressed an interest in). And, provided she gets her little hiney in gear and writes her application essay, it looks like that will work out fine. Younger dd is very content to spend a few more years at home with mom.

So, at this point -- do I celebrate the difference? Or minimize the difference? I'm thinking of all of those "little" things that are so important to some of us moms -- the lunchbox, the gym uniform, etc. Younger dd will be doing her schoolwork "offsite" a couple of days a week (I will be returning to my cushy preschool teaching gig, so little one will do schoolwork with my mom one morning a week, and she has co-op one morning a week, while I teach) so there will be a legitimate need for a backpack, lunch bag, etc.

What are some other things I need to consider? This is brand new territory for us, and I want to have a plan in place to anticipate any problems or discouragements that might come up.

[Barb F. PA in AZ]

Grrr, I don't like the limits of the Title line (though I understand the reason).

I don't like saying I'll have one at "home" and one at "school" -- because to my thinking, they will both be at home -- we are simply choosing to delegate the academic portion of our eldest dd's education to the very capable hands of a local private Christian school. And while the youngest dd will be "at home", of course she will also be at school. I probably don't need to explain that to everyone here -- regardless of where my dds receive their academic training, I think I will always be a homeschooler at heart. A homeschooler who is absolutely delighted to step back and let *someone else* deal with the nitty gritty of frog dissection, thank-you-very-much.

Anyhoo: here are some questions:

Both dds are fine with this arrangement; older dd very much WANTS to go to this school (this is the first year, and the first school, that she has expressed an interest in). And, provided she gets her little hiney in gear and writes her application essay, it looks like that will work out fine. Younger dd is very content to spend a few more years at home with mom.

So, at this point -- do I celebrate the difference? Or minimize the difference? I'm thinking of all of those "little" things that are so important to some of us moms -- the lunchbox, the gym uniform, etc. Younger dd will be doing her schoolwork "offsite" a couple of days a week (I will be returning to my cushy preschool teaching gig, so little one will do schoolwork with my mom one morning a week, and she has co-op one morning a week, while I teach) so there will be a legitimate need for a backpack, lunch bag, etc.

What are some other things I need to consider? This is brand new territory for us, and I want to have a plan in place to anticipate any problems or discouragements that might come up.

Oh, my instinct is to celebrate the difference. It is obviously different...they are not stupid and will figure that out for themselves. I remember reading something in "Siblings Without Rivalry" years ago that has stuck with me throughout my parenting career: children actually don't want to be treated as equals, they want to be treated as individuals. You obviously intuit that or you wouldn't have asked the question. Don't borrow trouble...deal with the problems as they crop up. With the scenario you've described, I can't see that there will be many, at least at first.

Congratulations on starting a new chapter!

Barb

[Hikin' Mama]

but I have one in school and the youngest two at home. We don't celebrate or downplay the differences. The differences just ARE, if that makes sense. This situation is best for our family, and each child is very happy where they are.

Sorry I couldn't really answer your question, but this is our experience. :)

Kim

[Janet in WA]

No real advice. All I can say is that it was very difficult for me to have one in school (oldest in ps high school) and two younger sons at home. I couldn't have my heart in both places. My real focus was homeschooling, and my ps son's high school stuff got whatever I could manage to muster, which often wasn't much. I know you'll handle it better than I did -- I'll be praying for you and your prescious dd's.

[Christy B]

Oh, my instinct is to celebrate the difference. It is obviously different...they are not stupid and will figure that out for themselves. I remember reading something in "Siblings Without Rivalry" years ago that has stuck with me throughout my parenting career: children actually don't want to be treated as equals, they want to be treated as individuals. You obviously intuit that or you wouldn't have asked the question. Don't borrow trouble...deal with the problems as they crop up. With the scenario you've described, I can't see that there will be many, at least at first.

Congratulations on starting a new chapter!

Barb

That's a good point . . . if I start working too hard at this, it might suggest to them that one of them -- either of them -- should have something to be upset about. You're right, better to just deal with things as they crop up, rather than plant seeds of doubt!

[Christy B]

but I have one in school and the youngest two at home. We don't celebrate or downplay the differences. The differences just ARE, if that makes sense. This situation is best for our family, and each child is very happy where they are.

Sorry I couldn't really answer your question, but this is our experience. :)

Kim

Because this is very scary to me! So it's good to know that it has worked for others.

[Christy B]

No real advice. All I can say is that it was very difficult for me to have one in school (oldest in ps high school) and two younger sons at home. I couldn't have my heart in both places. My real focus was homeschooling, and my ps son's high school stuff got whatever I could manage to muster, which often wasn't much. I know you'll handle it better than I did -- I'll be praying for you and your prescious dd's.

You have a lot of confidence in me, considering I am CLUELESS as to what we are doing! But my dh is the most thoughtful, stable, steady person I know, and he is solidly convinced that we are doing the right thing by sending dd out next year, so that is a great comfort to me. He has been very involved; not in the day to day schooling, but in keeping tabs on the general well-being of everyone in the household.

I have been very concerned about feeling "divided" between the school (which we really are genuinely impressed with; one of the teachers is a former homeschooling friend who taught dd some co-op classes; it is an incredibly homeschool-friendly school, in that they make room whenever possible for homeschoolers to join in their science labs, take drivers ed, etc.) But, it is still a school, you know? And I am sure that it will be an adjustment for me to give over that sense of control. On the other hand, I am SO burnt out with homeschooling, I wonder if I should just put both girls in the school and concentrate my efforts on enjoying them when they arrive home at the end of the day?

So, did things end up working out for you? Did you bring ds back home, or did the others eventually go to school?

Now is the time for me to hear all the pros and cons! I'm not afraid for people to say -- wait: you need to think about this. Nothing is carved in stone.

One of the many reasons we think this year (8th grade) is a great year to try school, is that if it's an unmitigated disaster, we can always pull the plug and do high school at home.

BTW: don't I "know" you from waaaay back, from another board? If so, you've been giving me excellent advice for years. And I appreciate it, so much.

[8FillTheHeart]

We have a child in school for the first time in our 14+ yrs of homeschooling. He loves it. He is on auto-pilot. We simply take him and pick him up.

It hasn't impacted our homeschooling in a negative way at all. It has been a huge burden off of me and has actually been a great blessing.

We had not originally planned on keeping him in this school beyond this yrl. We had thought about using the school for the rest of this yr and then going dual enrollment/online classes next yr (he is currently a sophomore.) However, he loves the school so much that we have decided to let him continue there through graduation.

Don't know if that helps or not. :)

[Christy B]

We have a child in school for the first time in our 14+ yrs of homeschooling. He loves it. He is on auto-pilot. We simply take him and pick him up.

It hasn't impacted our homeschooling in a negative way at all. It has been a huge burden off of me and has actually been a great blessing.

We had not originally planned on keeping him in this school beyond this yrl. We had thought about using the school for the rest of this yr and then going dual enrollment/online classes next yr (he is currently a sophomore.) However, he loves the school so much that we have decided to let him continue there through graduation.

Don't know if that helps or not. :)

I keep wondering if I should somehow feel like a homeschooling failure, and then wondering if something is wrong with me when I don't. :rolleyes: So it helps, tremendously, to know that others have taken this path and that it has worked for them.

You know, one of the things that has brought us to this decision, is that upon reviewing what has *worked* in our homeschool the last several years -- the things that have worked best have been the things that have taken me out of the equation of my dd's learning. Seriously -- and I don't take it personally -- she learns SO much better from other people. She thrives on a classroom setting, for one thing. She also needs a combination of auditory and visual input, while I truly despise reading aloud and doing a lot of "instructing". To me, it just seems artificial in the home, and it goes against everything in my own nature and learning style. (I know, revoke my homeschooling card, a mom who doesn't like to read aloud! :eek: ) I am so delighted that my dd has matured to a point where her "outside" classes (last year's writing class, this year's band activity, etc) are basically, as you described it, auto-pilot for me. Mind you, I'm actually looking forward to helping with homework -- *my* favorite time of day to sit down and do schoolwork is in the evening, so I don't think it will be a burden.

I'm thankful to know that sending one of your children to school has not hindered your homeschooling; hope that our experience will be the same. I'm not ready to give up homeschooling, but I want to do what is best for each child, and for this one -- that seems to be at least trying this school.

[skimerinkydo]

Well, I'm going the opposite direction... Last year I pulled ds out of ps, but I still have 3 children in ps. Sometimes ds seems a bit wistful when things like the valentine exchange come up and he doesn't have a "class" to give valentines to. However, he has had breakfast out with mom that the girls miss out on. When the girls got to go to the father-daughter dance, but ds would not be doing the mother-son luau with the ps, then we had a mother-son date the same night and went to see a movie at the theatre (something we don't normally do). As we go along there are some things that we do that are fair but different. Overall I think that they each understand that each educational path is different and I hope they see that each has its own advantages and disadvantages.

[RoughCollie]

I have 3 kids in parochial school and DS3 in homeschool this year. There are differences, and I don't do anything to minimize them.

From the kids' points of view, there are benefits and drawbacks to each. The kids in school-school have homework, have to get up at 6:30 a.m., wear uniforms, have 1/2 days, get pizza for lunch every Friday, follow very strict rules set in stone, and have days off that are not on the hs calendar.

DS3 sleeps 2 hours later than they do, doesn't have to wear a tie, gets more schoolwork accomplished in less time, and is around to go out to breakfast, lunch, or the library from time to time. He doesn't have 1/2 days, pizza for lunch on Friday, or waste time being unproductive in school.

The kids in the regular school weren't happy that they no longer had the non-educational benefits of homeschooling, but were thrilled to partake in the benefits of regular school.

They all adjusted to the "unfairness" of the situation once they realized that I was not going to drag DS3 out of bed at 6:30 a.m. or make other accommodations so their situations would be the same. DS3 has always been happy to be in home school; for him, there is no downside.

Mind you, the 3 at the regular school want to be there, and they have learned to take the good with the bad, so to speak.

In my town, schools don't have holiday parties during school hours like we used to when I was a kid back in the Dark Ages. If they did, DS3 would miss that because he'd know about it, but he'd still get to do the special stuff I always have done for the various holidays. Unlike the PS, if there are social events at the regular school, the entire family is expected to participate.

[Mandamom]

>>>>One of the many reasons we think this year (8th grade) is a great year to try school, is that if it's an unmitigated disaster, we can always pull the plug and do high school at home.>>>>

I know this is a scary decision for you and will be stressful as you work your way through it emotionally but if it is kept as a positive step rather than a negative one it will go a long way toward keeping the whole thing positive.

Throughout my homeschooling career I always had one child in school because that's where he belonged :) and it worked out very well for us. When it was time for my homeschooled one to move to school we decided that 8th grade was the right time to "experiment". In our area we had to either decide to homeschool high school or public school high school we couldn't decide to put him in school after 9th grade because he would not have kept any of his credits.

So, in my experience and in my area, trying this with 8th grade is a great time. If it doesn't work for next year you really haven't lost much.

Good luck.

[Janet in WA]

BTW: don't I "know" you from waaaay back, from another board? If so, you've been giving me excellent advice for years. And I appreciate it, so much.LOL, thanks for the kind words. Yep, we "know" each other from another board. That's actually why I said I knew you'd do a better job with this than I did -- I've been an admirer of yours for a long time.

Our oldest son was never homeschooled. All of our sons went to ps for a while, the oldest all the way. He was a senior in high school when we brought our younger sons home. All things considered, finishing up at the high school was the best option for him. However, our experiences with him in ps were very instrumental in our decision to get his brothers home and keep them home.

[MIch elle]

oldest is off to Catholic high school and youngest will be at home. We're all looking forward to the opportunities!

[Susan in IL]

The oldest was pulled out of ps at the end of 6th grade and hsed through high school. The younger one stayed in ps.

They are very different children and they knew (and know) it. What was good for one was not good for the other. The younger one was not jealous of the time I spent with the older one. The older one still saw friends from ps and he didn't feel like he was missing anything from what he was told. The younger one has no desired to stay home and still is in ps, however, he knows that if he ever wants to come home, he can. I would love to hs him. The older one is very glad he was hsed.

You don't need to celebrate or minimize the difference, just acknowledge they are different children with different needs. If they are fine with it, then don't stress over it.

Hope this helps a little.