about homeschool stereotypes...

[Virginia Dawn]

Don't you ever find yourself sucked in?

For example, if you see a large family group with the mother and the girls with long hair and in dresses, and the boys in button-up shirts and khaki pants, in mid-winter, in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, shopping or walking down the street or climbing out of a large van, don't you ever say to yourself, "homeschoolers." ;)

My kids and I do it all the time.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Don't you ever find yourself sucked in?

For example, if you see a large family group with the mother and the girls with long hair and in dresses, and the boys in button-up shirts and khaki pants, in mid-winter, in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, shopping or walking down the street or climbing out of a large van, don't you ever say to yourself, "homeschoolers." ;)

My kids and I do it all the time.

Yes! I even talk to them in stores. But my eyes are also open for the less conventional among us. ;)

[elizam]

Don't you ever find yourself sucked in?

For example, if you see a large family group with the mother and the girls with long hair and in dresses, and the boys in button-up shirts and khaki pants, in mid-winter, in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day, shopping or walking down the street or climbing out of a large van, don't you ever say to yourself, "homeschoolers." ;)

My kids and I do it all the time.



Well, sure....


but I don't meet very many of those families...

I really don't meet many homeschoolers at all!

[Doran]

But, my attention is drawn to the fact that there are kids out shopping in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week. More often than not I'll stop them (and, they tend to gaze at me as if I must have four heads), smile, and say, "Homeschooling? Us, too."

I can't say I've ever noticed what they're wearing.


Doran

[PariSarah]

But what I'm thinking is more, "Look! Somebody who homeschools. Just like me!" instead of "Heh. Denim jumper homeschooler. Not like me!"

Is that okay?

[Michelle T]

and I don't think there are so many of that particular stereotype homeschooler here. There might be in other parts of the country, I don't know.

But if I did see such a family, I would definitely think, "Oh, they must be homeschoolers". I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."
Michelle T

[Virginia Dawn]

Maybe this has more to do with the area we live in than anything else. A very large percentage of homeschoolers live in a 50 mile radius, and even more come here for vacations.

[gandpsmommy]

and I don't think there are so many of that particular stereotype homeschooler here. There might be in other parts of the country, I don't know.

But if I did see such a family, I would definitely think, "Oh, they must be homeschoolers". I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."
Michelle T


I hope that you haven't had too many past experiences that would cause you to feel this way. I definitely don't fit the stereotype, but I am a Christian, and I love talking to any homeschoolers we meet, no matter what their faith. In fact, in our old hometown, I felt a lot more comfortable in the non-Christian, hippy crowd of homeschoolers than in the faith-based homeschool group. Interesting, huh?

[Doran]

I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."

My goodness. That seems so sad to me. I can't imagine thinking that anyone wouldn't want to talk to me (heh :rolleyes: ..that sounds way more egocentric than I really am!). My point is, why wouldn't they want to talk to you. You're just saying hello and happy homeschooling, right? It's not like you're going to blast right into a whole discussion of faith right there in the WalMart or whatever.

Doran

[chickenpatty]

It is rare for me to see people who fit that description. When I do, though, my first thought is, "I wonder what church they go to?" Most of my dress wearing friends send their kids to our church's Christian school. Therefore, I don't automatically think "homeschoolers".

I have long hair (dh thinks short hair is unattractive), a mob of children (3 of them girls who have shoulder length hair, 3 boys who wear kakhi's and polos on church days), wear dresses (no jumpers, though), have chickens (not usually in tow), and homeschool. I know one other family like us and we don't see them much.

I guess I feel like I am 'fessing up to this & it's kind of bothering me. So many on the board are very quick to separate themselves from people who might look like me. Ouch! :cool:

[Doran]

Sorry. I'm being goofy here. It just cracked me up that three of us replied with SURE all in a row, so I had to put in one more. I always think of that silly scene in Airplane..."stop calling me Shirley!"

Now watch this show up in some completely different place where it will make no sense whatsoever!

:D

D~

[Mrs. H.]

I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."


Oh my, I hope I don't put forth that image when I'm out with my children wearing my long blue jean skirt with my hair down to my waist. Yes, I am a CC. Yes, I look like I belong to a certain type of church (although that's not true), but I would love for anyone who is a fellow homeschooler, or anyone with a genuine interest in homeschooling to come up and talk to me anywhere I may be. I'm not going to hand out tracts or try to convert anyone during a casual conversation, and I probably wouldn't even mention God (unless, of course, I said, "Me? Patience? If it weren't for the grace of God I would give these children to the next person who offered me a good hunting dog for them.")

By the way, I wonder if anyone I see with school-aged children out during school hours is a homeschooler, no matter what they look like.

[gandpsmommy]

I tend to do this, too! But, I think there is a huge difference between assuming that a large family, dressed in the way you described, out and about in the middle of a weekday is a homeschooling family, and assuming that all homeschooling families are large, Christian families, in which the females wear only skirts/dresses and don't cut their hair. I think that many people are truly just not very knowledgeable about the diversity of homeschoolers. Many people may not know a homeschooling family personally. When people that dh works with find out that we homeschool, many of them are shocked at first because we don't fit that stereotype. And then they are usually very curious, asking how we know what to teach, etc. Most people that we have encountered so far have a positive attitude toward the option when they are given more information, they just don't often know much about it initially.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

It is rare for me to see people who fit that description. When I do, though, my first thought is, "I wonder what church they go to?" Most of my dress wearing friends send their kids to our church's Christian school. Therefore, I don't automatically think "homeschoolers".

I have long hair (dh thinks short hair is unattractive), a mob of children (3 of them girls who have shoulder length hair, 3 boys who wear kakhi's and polos on church days), wear dresses (no jumpers, though), have chickens (not usually in tow), and homeschool. I know one other family like us and we don't see them much.

I guess I feel like I am 'fessing up to this & it's kind of bothering me. So many on the board are very quick to separate themselves from people who might look like me. Ouch! :cool:

And some of us will run up and accost you with questions right there in the supermarket!

Last time I did it, at Ft. Dix commissary in front of the meat cooler, the mom was VERY clear that no, it wouldn't be a good idea for our kids to play together because her kids "had each other and she didn't like to interfere with that by having neighborhood kids over." And I got it... dd was wearing jeans and I had on Burmuda shorts, and my curriculum wasn't "right." And we had already had the conversation about which church, etc. (Post Chapel is sometimes not the right answer, lol!) So I "get it" when other people are leery. Perhaps, like me, they've gotten the vibe either here or elsewhere that such associations aren't always completely welcome. "Be ye seperate," and all.

But if I see you in the supermarket, I'm STILL gonna come over and talk! And invite you over for coffee and to chat. :-)

[gandpsmommy]

The following is a quote from Chickenpatty. I tried to do the quote option, but I guess I didn't do it right, so I edited it to add this. "I guess I feel like I am 'fessing up to this & it's kind of bothering me. So many on the board are very quick to separate themselves from people who might look like me. Ouch!":cool:[/quote]

Oh, that is very sad. I really feel a kinship with all hsers, no matter how they choose to dress or what their faith is. And I have to admit, that, although I wear pants and have my long hair cut and styled, I have a lot of respect for women who choose to wear only dresses and not cut their hair. I have respect for all people who truly live by their convictions, despite what society might think about their choices.

[chickenpatty]

Awww, gee, thanks! I do love coffee:)

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Awww, gee, thanks! I do love coffee:)

You know what really made her stiffen up visibly? The fact that I was trying to follow TWTM. It was actually pretty funny, though I felt weird -- I'm such a pleaser! :cool:

[Marie in Oh]

In fact, many homeschoolers in my hs group look just like you describe, and if you look like that Chickenpatty, then I think I would have tons of respect for you.

I think people may distance themselves from the stereotype because somewhere in the unwritten code of homeschooling, this is the ideal. It is what people think of. We have friends with 9 children and when out, the girls wear matching jumpers and the boys where cordinating colored shirts and kackis and they come in in subdued, controlled organization. Our other friends have 9 children, and theirs are bouncing off the walls when here.

We come in all shapes and sizes. I have friends who almost apoligize that they "only have 2 children" as that somehow makes them insecure as their worth as a homeschooler. I, in fact, do have a posse of kids, sometimes wear skirts, and cut my hair. We even have 3 chickens. But, I am me, not someone else. I wouldn't be comfortable in the coordiated clothing-- we draw too much attention in a crowd as it is. ;) Don't feel bad for who you are. Be proud of it.

[Kay in Cal]

We're close to Michelle, and have the same reaction--I've never met these homeschoolers!

Here, if I see a mom out during the day with 2 or 3 kids, the boys have very long hair, sandals or barefoot, all have home tie-dyed t-shirts, and they have peace stickers on thier VW, MAYBE I'd think homeschoolers... or just surfers ditching school.

Totally different stereotype here, huh?

[Scarlett]

You know what really made her stiffen up visibly? The fact that I was trying to follow TWTM. It was actually pretty funny, though I felt weird -- I'm such a pleaser! :cool:

:confused: Why would that bother her? :confused:

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

:confused: Why would that bother her? :confused:

She said something about it not lining up with their values, but that she knew a lot of homeschoolers who liked it.

I really don't know. But it was funny (and kinda freaky) to watch her face.

She used all R&S, btw. (And as my standard disclaimer, I love love love R&S Grammar, so I'm not trying to negatively stereotype.)

[Mekanamom]

She said something about it not lining up with their values, but that she knew a lot of homeschoolers who liked it.

I really don't know. But it was funny (and kinda freaky) to watch her face.

She used all R&S, btw. (And as my standard disclaimer, I love love love R&S Grammar, so I'm not trying to negatively stereotype.)

Heh! I had the opposite reaction when I mentioned TWTM. People assumed I was Christian, and then either a) felt like I tricked them when it turned out I wasn't, or b) were perplexed as to why I would use "such a rigid program" if I wasn't a religious person.

LOL!

I haven't found a better grammar program than R&S either. :)

[dragons in the flower bed]

I do notice other homeschoolers, but not so much the conservative type in the denim jumpers. Maybe we just don't have quiverfulls here. I see babies cloth-diapers and in slings, little kids in the opposite gender's clothing or with odd colors of hair, women who smell of patchouli and have no makeup on, teenagers happy to make intelligent conversation with adults -- these things make me stand up and go, "homeschooler?" More often than not, I'm right. The first time I saw my dearest local homeschooling friend (a loose WTM-er), she was bouncing a baby in a sling while assaulting the children's section of a used book sale the same way a lion might dissect a gazelle. I knew right away she was a homeschooler.

[PrairieAir]

I tried to take a picture last Sunday. We were driving home from my inlaws' house and I saw a van that had to be a homeschool van. Actually it's one I've seen often, but it's just so much the stereotypical homeschool family vehicle. 16 passenger van with all the right bumper stickers: Todd Tiahrt, Pro Life, Bush/Cheney, and something about creation vs. evolution I think. I was even going to block out the license plate and post it on my blog, but it was raining and I couldn't get a clear shot through the windshield while the car was moving.

Sure, I know plenty of homeschoolers that do not fit the stereotype. But I live in a place that is full of homeschoolers who do fit the stereotype. That's not always a bad thing. It just makes me laugh. And not in a "Ha ha, they're so dorky" kinda way. Sometimes I just laugh because things are the way they are.:D

[elegantlion]

When we moved here a couple of years ago I was looking to meet homeschoolers in our church. One girl basically told me she wasn't interested in getting together at all, as they did "school at home" and I had a boy and she had a girl. I had also asked about the homeschool group and she made some remark about not doing those. Whatever:cool:

[8FillTheHeart]

I've lived where the groups required you to be "like-minded." I interpret that to mean "unable to deal with people who don't conform to our specific group-think ideas, don't rock our perfect little image of a narrow world existance."

I am happy that the area we have moved to seems to be full of normal, average, every-day kind of people that are homeschooling and seem to be welcoming to everyone.

I definitely would assume the described group were homeschoolers, but I also think that about all kids I see out during school hours.

[Excelsior! Academy]

If it weren't for the grace of God I would give these children to the next person who offered me a good hunting dog for them.")




Hee Hee!:D

[Jenny in Atl]

We have lots of the Ford Econoline families with all those stickers, handmade dresses, and such, but we also have the sling-wearing, funky haired, patchouli smelling families too. Atl has it all (the very conservative to the total radical unschoolers).

[sdWTMer]

Ayup!

[mcconnellboys]

If I see anyone out in the middle of the day, during the middle of the week, with children, then I think "homeschoolers". We don't really shop during school time, so I've never seen that, but we sometimes eat out for lunch and we've seen other children in restaurants while we're eating.

I've always lived in areas where there are some numbers of folks who dress as you describe for religious reasons, so I don't necessarily associate that with homeschooling.

Regena

[Kelli in TN]

She said something about it not lining up with their values, but that she knew a lot of homeschoolers who liked it.

I really don't know. But it was funny (and kinda freaky) to watch her face.

She used all R&S, btw. (And as my standard disclaimer, I love love love R&S Grammar, so I'm not trying to negatively stereotype.)

I absolutely love having conversations with this type.

I like to subtly needle them. I always pull out my big vocabulary words (I don't really know many big words, most of 'em I learned on these forums, but the few I know are useful for these conversations) and I talk methodology and such. I can talk big when I need to. I love one-upping folks that freak out because I have fairly high academic standards for my kids.

I am so bad.

[Kelli in TN]

I tried to take a picture last Sunday. We were driving home from my inlaws' house and I saw a van that had to be a homeschool van. Actually it's one I've seen often, but it's just so much the stereotypical homeschool family vehicle. 16 passenger van with all the right bumper stickers: Todd Tiahrt, Pro Life, Bush/Cheney, and something about creation vs. evolution I think. I was even going to block out the license plate and post it on my blog, but it was raining and I couldn't get a clear shot through the windshield while the car was moving.

Sure, I know plenty of homeschoolers that do not fit the stereotype. But I live in a place that is full of homeschoolers who do fit the stereotype. That's not always a bad thing. It just makes me laugh. And not in a "Ha ha, they're so dorky" kinda way. Sometimes I just laugh because things are the way they are.:D


I know that family! Or at least I know their Tennessee cousins. They live a county over and their kids show up at alot of district and state 4H events. The girls wear a lot of long denim things, all the girls have lots of hair, the boys don't know that you can leave that top button open and they do. not. like. to. lose. at. 4H. Ever. Once, one of the boys who is the same age as my daughter (and is her nemesis) submitted a decorative wreath to the district fair. It was made from cicada shells. I am not making this up. I could not make this up if I tried.

Their van is covered with stickers, but not just on the back, they have witness stickers on the sides of the van too.

Very interesting.

[elizam]

I've lived where the groups required you to be "like-minded." I interpret that to mean "unable to deal with people who don't conform to our specific group-think ideas, don't rock our perfect little image of a narrow world existance."

I am happy that the area we have moved to seems to be full of normal, average, every-day kind of people that are homeschooling and seem to be welcoming to everyone.

I definitely would assume the described group were homeschoolers, but I also think that about all kids I see out during school hours.


Sounds a bit like the group I left that decided to stop letting the skating rink choose the Skate Day music, because they were playing (GASP) Christian hip hop and rock. :rolleyes:

[Kelli in TN]

Sounds a bit like the group I left that decided to stop letting the skating rink choose the Skate Day music, because they were playing (GASP) Christian hip hop and rock. :rolleyes:

You can't exactly roller skate to hymns, can you?

We used to have a lot of people who really followed Bill Gothard's teachings and they could not listen to cool music. Apparently the beat is evil even if the lyrics are good. We had several folks try to get us involved and as much as we used to be total followers, we never went to the first seminar because we had heard about one of the rules Gothard had for his flock...

No beards. I am serious. Men could not wear beards. I don't know if that is still the case, but it was then. My husband looks wrong without a beard.

[PrairieAir]

[QUOTE=Kelli in TN;89957]You can't exactly roller skate to hymns, can you?
QUOTE]

Well, I can't. The last homeschool skate we ever went to played "Ave Maria" among others. I am a Christian, but I don't typically like Christian rock either. This was just too much for me. I like hymns, in the right context. That's fine though. To each his own. I just decided that particular activity was not for our family. The combination of "Ave Maria" blasted over the speakers in full operatic style and a room full of rolling, whirling children and strobe lights gave me a headache that it took quite some time to recover from.

And Kelli, are you sure you don't live in Kansas? Because we have that same 4-H family. I don't know about the cicada shell wreath, but it wouldn't surprise me. Nothing against them though. Their nice folks and I'm sure there are plenty of things about me that they think are wacky. It makes life interesting, doesn't it?

[Kelli in TN]

[QUOTE=PrairieAir;89981
And Kelli, are you sure you don't live in Kansas? Because we have that same 4-H family. I don't know about the cicada shell wreath, but it wouldn't surprise me. Nothing against them though. Their nice folks and I'm sure there are plenty of things about me that they think are wacky. It makes life interesting, doesn't it?[/QUOTE]

I had the misfortune to judge a clothing construction competition once. One of the girls from this family was in the group I was judging. She did not win. She placed, but she did not win.

A few weeks later I came across the mom as we were both dropping off kids at the local college for music lessons. She questioned me about it in the parking lot. She was not confrontational, but still, it was extremely uncomfortable to have to answer questions about what was in my head and the heads of the other judges. After that I refused to ever judge any 4H event again.

[Sweetpeach]

[QUOTE=gandpsmommy;88473 I think that many people are truly just not very knowledgeable about the diversity of homeschoolers. [/QUOTE]

I completely agree with this statement -- because *I* wasn't very knowledgeable about the diversity of hs'ers. When we started attending our current church three years ago, I knew 5 - 6 families who hs'ed. I assumed I'd have instant and life-long friends, well, because we all hs'ed. I had NO idea the diversity or spectrum represented by hs'ers and certainly wouldn't have guessed that hs'ers were so unique in approach, parenting, methods.

I absolutely lumped us all together! Truly, who knew? Not me.

I'm still dumbfounded by the spectrum of hs'ers -- I just had no idea.

[Sasha]

I don't see a lot of the very stereotypical homeschoolers, but I do find myself thinking "I'll bet they're homeschoolers!" when I see a group of kids (oftentimes rambunctious) talking a million miles a minute. If they ask more than fifteen questions in three breathes I know that they are. ;)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Don't count them out automatically. I was at a local women's conference held at a hotel. We had a huge ballroom full of all different kinds of Christian ladies. In the next ballroom was a "gentlemen's" party complete with cigars and stripper.
The stripper was sharing a bathroom with all of us fine Christian ladies. Most of us weren't quite sure what to say. Who do you suppose was the one who chatted with her, got her story (single mom taking care of her kid), prayed with and for her and swapped phone numbers? The older Mennonite lady, complete with long skirt and hair covering. I try to keep that vision in my mind - it chastened me to look past outsides - on either range of the spectrum.

[Daisy]

I almost never see that stereotypical family either. But I'm another SoCal homeschooler. I think it would be neat!

[shanmar]

First of all...I don't have enough kids.

I have long hair and wear skirts. I'm also often wearing a black leather jacket and black boots.

My girls wear skirts 50% of the time, with Ugg boots or flip flops.

My boys have their jeans just right, and are usually wearing skaterish clothes, as long as they don't have skulls on them. (I despise skulls as logo wear.)

I am currently driving an orange avalanche truck. My only bumper sticker is the one that my son snuck on my bumper which reads "Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes."

We have just about everytype of homeschooler around here. We also have a large Russian Orthodox community and a decent sized Mennonite community, both of which fit the lots of kids, skirts, khaki, van sterotype.

Variety is the spice of life!

[chickenpatty]

Update! Breaking out of my stereotype... As of tonight (well, yesterday now) I no longer have long hair!

I got a really horrid haircut that kind of looks like a jelly fish. :( :mad:

Well, at least hair grows back. I wonder if anyone would notice if I wore a baseball cap to church tomorrow? They might, though, since I'm singing a solo.

P.S. I drive a Ford econoline. No bumber stickers, though. Just a soccer magnet to cover the dent I made from backing into someone's mailbox.

[Sasha]

Here, if I see a mom out during the day with 2 or 3 kids, the boys have very long hair, sandals or barefoot, all have home tie-dyed t-shirts, and they have peace stickers on thier VW, MAYBE I'd think homeschoolers... or just surfers ditching school.

Totally different stereotype here, huh?

I'm in the midwest but near a liberal university town, so this is the stereotype of homeschoolers that I'm likely to run into (in fact, it's one that I fit myself. :p My youngest, even, has dreadlocks).

[Pencil Pusher]

It is rare for me to see people who fit that description. When I do, though, my first thought is, "I wonder what church they go to?" Most of my dress wearing friends send their kids to our church's Christian school. Therefore, I don't automatically think "homeschoolers".

I have long hair (dh thinks short hair is unattractive), a mob of children (3 of them girls who have shoulder length hair, 3 boys who wear kakhi's and polos on church days), wear dresses (no jumpers, though), have chickens (not usually in tow), and homeschool. I know one other family like us and we don't see them much.

I guess I feel like I am 'fessing up to this & it's kind of bothering me. So many on the board are very quick to separate themselves from people who might look like me. Ouch!

Aw, Patty. I think you should take your chickens!;)

I have long hair, too. Dh likes it. It drives me nuts & makes me look like a super-conservative-fascist-homeschooling-Christian nut. At least, that's how I feel about it.:D But I don't have chickens. :(;)

[mcconnellboys]

Someone send this woman a bumper sticker! I just changed cars and my husband ripped my "Free Tibet" sticker off my old vehicle when we started to look at trading it. Now I'm lost. I can't find my car anymore..... Can someone please send me another "Free Tibet" bumper sticker????

Regena

[mcconnellboys]

Wow! Now *that's* a bumper sticker *I* need! Where can I get that?

Regena

[Free Indeed]

It drives me nuts & makes me look like a super-conservative-fascist-homeschooling-Christian nut :(;)

Hey whats wrong with that??? :D Just kidding, but I thought that comment was cute.

[Volty]

In China it's different, you can strike up a conversation with just about anybody that doesn't look Chinese. Just having another foreigner to talk to is a pleasant change.

When I worked in Guiyang I was introduced by a mutual aquaintence to another 30-something American who was an English professor at the local University. We didn't have much in common, he was a conservative Christian and a fan of George Bush which normally means sitting there talking with him is as much fun as sitting there talking to somebody with tuberculosis or ebola.

Normally.

But I genuinely liked the guy and he had a son the same age as the son of my girlfriend at the time. And we eventually became really good friends. His was such such a great family, his wife was such a great mom, his kids (4) were all great. This guy had it all going right for him, everything I could want in a family and in life. And I was quite envious.

Anyways to tie the story into the thread, if I had known before I met the man that he was a fundy Christian, I'd have probably not bothered to meet him. But everything changed because of that family. I wouldn't have had the template of domestic bliss, wouldn't have gotten into HSing, wouldn't be posting here. I had such a crush on his wife -not that I ever let her know this- but because of her I knew exactly what I was looking for and my own wife, who I love deeply and am very satisfied with, is the closest copy of her I could find in China (minus the Christian bits). That my daughter is so happy, wonderful, and perfect is a credit to my wife.

So now, now I talk to everybody. And while I'm an atheist and not now nor ever will be Christian, I've really come to peace with them.

[readwithem]

She said something about it not lining up with their values, but that she knew a lot of homeschoolers who liked it.

I really don't know. But it was funny (and kinda freaky) to watch her face.

She used all R&S, btw. (And as my standard disclaimer, I love love love R&S Grammar, so I'm not trying to negatively stereotype.)
That's ironic, because WTM recommends so much R&S!

[readwithem]

IOnce, one of the boys who is the same age as my daughter (and is her nemesis) submitted a decorative wreath to the district fair. It was made from cicada shells. I am not making this up. I could not make this up if I tried.



Oh.my.word.

[PrairieAir]

Don't count them out automatically. I was at a local women's conference held at a hotel. We had a huge ballroom full of all different kinds of Christian ladies. In the next ballroom was a "gentlemen's" party complete with cigars and stripper.
The stripper was sharing a bathroom with all of us fine Christian ladies. Most of us weren't quite sure what to say. Who do you suppose was the one who chatted with her, got her story (single mom taking care of her kid), prayed with and for her and swapped phone numbers? The older Mennonite lady, complete with long skirt and hair covering. I try to keep that vision in my mind - it chastened me to look past outsides - on either range of the spectrum.

Aw, what a great story! The few Mennonites that I have known are not judgmental of other Christians because of what they wear, etc. They have their convictions, but they don't necessarily believe everyone else should have the same convictions. What a tremendous example that woman set.

[PrairieAir]

I had the misfortune to judge a clothing construction competition once. One of the girls from this family was in the group I was judging. She did not win. She placed, but she did not win.

A few weeks later I came across the mom as we were both dropping off kids at the local college for music lessons. She questioned me about it in the parking lot. She was not confrontational, but still, it was extremely uncomfortable to have to answer questions about what was in my head and the heads of the other judges. After that I refused to ever judge any 4H event again.

Kelli, the more details you give about this family, the more I'm convinced I know them or their Kansas twins. This sounds exactly like some incidents we had in another 4-H project they were involved in.

[Audrey]

I do notice other homeschoolers, but not so much the conservative type in the denim jumpers. Maybe we just don't have quiverfulls here. I see babies cloth-diapers and in slings, little kids in the opposite gender's clothing or with odd colors of hair, women who smell of patchouli and have no makeup on, teenagers happy to make intelligent conversation with adults -- these things make me stand up and go, "homeschooler?" More often than not, I'm right. The first time I saw my dearest local homeschooling friend (a loose WTM-er), she was bouncing a baby in a sling while assaulting the children's section of a used book sale the same way a lion might dissect a gazelle. I knew right away she was a homeschooler.


I so deperately wish I had more of your kind of homeschoolers around here. :D

[Audrey]

The stripper was sharing a bathroom with all of us fine Christian ladies. Most of us weren't quite sure what to say. Who do you suppose was the one who chatted with her, got her story (single mom taking care of her kid), prayed with and for her and swapped phone numbers? The older Mennonite lady, complete with long skirt and hair covering. I try to keep that vision in my mind - it chastened me to look past outsides - on either range of the spectrum.


I live in a very Mennonite part of the country. Having known many Mennonites, this does not surprise me. Not in the least. :)

[PiCO]

I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."
Michelle T

It's not always true, though. My brother has 6 dds that they homeschool, long hair, no make-up (but no denim jumpers, either.) They are not Christian, but they often get taken for such.

Look and see if they are wearing crosses. You might be surprised!

In general though- you are probably right.

[True Blue]

Just so you know, some Christians abhor the wearing of crosses. So that may not be a clue either.

[PiCO]

Just so you know, some Christians abhor the wearing of crosses. So that may not be a clue either.

I didn't know that.

I usually talk to people I think are homeschoolers anyway, regardless of what religion I think they might be. (Some of my best friends are Christians. Hehehe- it's true, but saying that sounds so shallow.)

But it was at times very overwhelming for me as a non-Christian classical homeschooler, because in my area the two main groups are "Christian A-Beka" and "hippie unschoolers." I fit in better with the Christian group when it came to child rearing and educational philosophy, but I never felt I could let my hair down because of a few families I thought would ostrasize me if they knew I was an atheist.

[Melinda in VT]

Just so you know, some Christians abhor the wearing of crosses. So that may not be a clue either.

I know Mormons who have this attitude, but I have never heard about it an another context. Does it exist among non-Mormon Christians as well?

[WendyK]

I have never seen anything like that so I would probably do a double take anyway. I do find myself thinking I recognize homeschoolers though. And I can't always put my finger on why. It happened not long ago. I was in a situation where there were many parents and kids and most of them were probably not homeschoolers (it wasn't a homeschool related activity). There was one woman there who for whatever reason I thought might be a homeschooler. Then I overheard her telling someone she was a homeschooler. It is like I am developing some sort of radar. LOL And I absolutely don't think I fit any homeschooler stereotype.

[True Blue]

Yes, because they want to concentrate on the resurection. These Christians also don't celebrate Christmas as Jesus' birth. They aren't mormon.

[PrairieAir]

I know Mormons who have this attitude, but I have never heard about it an another context. Does it exist among non-Mormon Christians as well?

We don't wear crosses for the reason Elaine stated--because we want to focus on Christ's resurrection. It's also because dh and I find it a little odd to wear an instrument of death--and an inaccurate depiction at that. I've heard other people express the same sentiment. Would you wear an electric chair or put it on the top of your church?:rolleyes:

We don't look down on people who do wear crosses. We understand the thinking behind it. It's just that we don't think that way about it and so it would be inappropriate for us to wear them.

We also don't celebrate Christmas as Jesus' birthday, although we do celebrate Christmas as time for family, fun, and traditions.

I should probably say here that "we" is our family. We don't belong to a specific denomination. We do have quite a few friends who feel this way. It's not part of our religious beliefs our anything.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

We don't wear crosses for the reason Elaine stated--because we want to focus on Christ's resurrection. It's also because dh and I find it a little odd to wear an instrument of death--and an inaccurate depiction at that. I've heard other people express the same sentiment. Would you wear an electric chair or put it on the top of your church?:rolleyes:

We don't look down on people who do wear crosses. We understand the thinking behind it. It's just that we don't think that way about it and so it would be inappropriate for us to wear them.

We also don't celebrate Christmas as Jesus' birthday, although we do celebrate Christmas as time for family, fun, and traditions.

I should probably say here that "we" is our family. We don't belong to a specific denomination. We do have quite a few friends who feel this way. It's not part of our religious beliefs our anything.

I wouldn't wear a cross when I was a Christian. Just a personal thing, not denominational.

Dh's family got us a hand-carved crucifix one year. We thanked them profusely, of course, then later looked at each other, both thinking, "Ok, what are we going to do with this??!"

[True Blue]

I love the diversity in homeschoolers. I love that I can have friends from so many walks of life and different beliefs. I have a friend that sounds a lot like you and she's felt some backlash. Its a shame because she's so incredible. People who prejudge miss out on so much.

[True Blue]

Yes, I think that was their reasoning.

[Caroline]

I actually am a public school teacher. However, we have four kids and buy a lot of books. I get asked about once a month if I am a homeschooler. People seem shocked. I get the line, "But your kids have such great vocabularies." But, we have such a nice homeschooling community around here. I have a number of friends who homeschool, and we afterschool with them. And I help some homeschool friends with math and science. So I guess maybe I fit in... (I don't have long hair and I wear jeans most of the time.)

[True Blue]

Very few homeschoolers in my area have long hair and wear dresses only. We look like everyone else. We love ps teachers here, too. Many of my friends' spouses are teachers and a couple are principals. I'm glad people think good thoughts about homeschoolers. I only ever hear opinions on hsing from a cashier or hair dresser and its always negative. LOL

[GothicGyrl]

But if I did see such a family, I would definitely think, "Oh, they must be homeschoolers". I would be unlikely to talk to them though, as my stereotyped thinking would continue "They are not going to be interested in talking to a non-Christian like me."
Michelle T


I have to chime in here backing Michelle up. But more often than not, I'm thinking "they don't want to talk to me because I don't look/act/dress like them".

Quoting momof7:
I've lived where the groups required you to be "like-minded." I interpret that to mean "unable to deal with people who don't conform to our specific group-think ideas, don't rock our perfect little image of a narrow world existance."

This is the exact reason I get a lot of this type of conversation:

Me: You must be a homeschooler (smiling, happy, etc)
Them: Yes (whispers, let's go kids)

As they quickly scury off and it has nothing to do with time or they need to be somewhere else. This has everything to do with Michelle's feelings as she stated them--I am NOT like them and it shows. It's also the reason why I no longer participate in our homeschool group, it's why my only form of socialization with other homeschoolers is on message boards.

I've also been told as much to my face. So stereotypes for homeschoolers? How about those that feel this is "disgusting" start speaking out when you hear it? Stand up to them and tell them they are doing nothing to help your cause and are in fact, driving people further away from it?

I'm just bummed.. nevermind me.

[True Blue]

Oh, I've felt judged, too. I'm not enough of something or other and I've felt it from both sides. You just gotta let it roll down your back. Honestly, its their loss.

[Renee in FL]

I don't see a lot of the very stereotypical homeschoolers, but I do find myself thinking "I'll bet they're homeschoolers!" when I see a group of kids (oftentimes rambunctious) talking a million miles a minute. If they ask more than fifteen questions in three breathes I know that they are. ;)
You must know my dc!

[Renee in FL]

And where would I fit? I drive a 12 passenger van. I have 6dc (so far.) I have long hair (as do my daughters) but mine is usually in a bun. I am a conservative Christian.

BUT....

All but one of my boys have long hair, too.

I am Catholic.

I am (I guess) a Crunchy Con, but I gave up raising my own last year - I don't have the time!

My house is a mess.

I am a pretty regimented schooler until I get sidetracked, and then I fit right in with the unschoolers. ;-)

I don't control the opinions or preferences of my dc much, but I have high expectations for behavior towards others!

I really don't fit anywhere - too Christian for the "inclusive" group and not Christian enough (or not Christian at all to some) for the Christian group!

[SnowWhite]

It's funny...

I'm exactly the typical homeschooler you described (except we don't do stickers on vehicles- ICK! and I only have 2 boys who wear blue jeans and tee shirts). Oh, and dh hates jumpers, so I NEVER wear them.

I'd be thrilled to talk to any of you and have you over for playdates, etc. I promise, I wouldn't try to convert anyone. ;)

Ironically, I can't fit into the local homeschool groups (except the small one at our church) because I'm not their brand of Christian. (picture more the jeans and polo shirts moms, soccer mom type Christians)

[Robin Hood]

At hsing conventions, one sees all types of home schoolers; they are all out there, but I also believe that like know like. I've picked them out plenty of times and enjoyed all conversations with them, no matterhow different we are. In my own little town, our hs group has all sorts and we all get along well.

I saw a family once at the same dentist I go to. We were waiting in the waiting room together and all the girls had long dresses and they boys were sort of old fashioned looking, too. They had a thrift store look about them, but it was more like they didn't know how to put it together that made them look like Little House wantobees. There we were in shorts and jeans and t shirts. The girls made fast friends with mine and I talked with them for a minute about their school, but it must of scared the mom because she saw me talking to her kids she quickly shued hers away across the room. She knew we hsed because of the conversation, but I sure felt like I had cooties. She must've been afraid I'd be a bad influence on her 1960 looking children.

[Valerie(TX)]

Replying to Pam's story:

Pam, it's her loss!

:)

Really!

Val

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Replying to Pam's story:

Pam, it's her loss!

:)

Really!

Val

Ohmigosh, Valerie, you are so sweet. Thank you. I wish like crazy you lived in my town, or I in yours.

BTW, I showed dd the pic of F, and she raised an eyebrow, then looked at me funny and blushed.

LOL! (It's so much fun to have a 15 y/o in the house.)

[Karin]

I don't wear a cross for the same reasons basically as PairieAir. As for Christmas, I think most scholars agree that Jesus wasn't born them. While many celebrate it as his birthday anyway, we don't. But I have a friend who mostly thinks like me about the Bible and who wears one to remind him of the price paid. I remember that when I think of the resurrection of Christ as you can't have the latter without the former as I understand it.

[SnowWhite]

It's funny...

I'm exactly the typical homeschooler you described (except we don't do stickers on vehicles- ICK! and I only have 2 boys who wear blue jeans and tee shirts). Oh, and dh hates jumpers, so I NEVER wear them.

I'd be thrilled to talk to any of you and have you over for playdates, etc. I promise, I wouldn't try to convert anyone. ;)

Ironically, I can't fit into the local homeschool groups (except the small one at our church) because I'm not their brand of Christian. (picture more the jeans and polo shirts moms, soccer mom type Christians)

OK, and that got me a negative rep with ??? as the comment. :confused:

[Sasha]

But it was at times very overwhelming for me as a non-Christian classical homeschooler, because in my area the two main groups are "Christian A-Beka" and "hippie unschoolers."

Oh, I often feel this way too. Politically and otherwise I'm the hippie type except that we're classical homeschoolers. It's hard to fit in to any group.

Actually, I'm really surprised reading this thread at how many of us feel outside the group, even amongst other homeschoolers.

[clane]

she was bouncing a baby in a sling while assaulting the children's section of a used book sale the same way a lion might dissect a gazelle. I knew right away she was a homeschooler.

Hey--I represent this remark! I have the book sale website bookmarked and check it weekly :)