Consequences for not doing dishes?

[momofkhm]

My girls alternate each week who does the dishes. But my 10 yo is constantly forgetting to do them after breakfast. This is a fairly new thing. like in the last month or so. So right now sh is doing them for the second week in a row. She's pushing having to do them next week as well since I am still having to remind her every day. Is there something better I could do? I understand that this age needs reminders, but she had been doing them well, only forgetting Mondays for about year. Now she is forgetting them.

[Sue G in PA]

it's simple lack of discipline and consequences. We use the Handipoints website to track the chores. Each of my dc have chores for a month and then we rotate. I'm not sure how you work chores (allowance, etc.). When we did allowance, if someone "forgot" to do their chore and somebody else had to do it for them...the "forgetter" had to PAY the person who ended up doing the chore x amount of money. ALSO, for my ds9...when he constantly "forgets" to do his chore (usually the dishes :) in the am) I give him an extra week at the end of his month as "practice" b/c it's obvious he doesn't really understand HOW to do the chore efficiently and correctly, KWIM? That worked. He now does his chore consistently and hardly needs to be reminded. An extra week of dish duty is all it took. YUCK!

[Joanne]

It's after breakfast? You are "right there" as well?

For us, morning chores not completed are a choice to not have breaks for school. Also, nothing "else" happens until the chore is done (well, school happens but checking email, playing, etc do not)

[PariSarah]

How does it happen that she doesn't do them? I mean, is breakfast an every-man-for-himself kind of thing, and she's just supposed to notice when it's over and do the dishes?

Or is it more like, you all get up from the table, you say, "Janie, it's your turn to do dishes this week," and she says, "'Kay, Mom!" and goes off and checks email?

In either case, I just don't expect my 10yo to remember chores like that. I expect him to do them when I ask, immediately, cheerfully, and well. But I don't think of it as a bad thing that I have to say, "Okay, kiddos, it's Weds night. Could you put the trash out for tomorrow?" as long as he says, "Sure, Mom!" and goes and does it. Him doing it without being reminded is just not a hill that's even on my map, much less one I want to die on.

Does it seem like it would be a problem for you to just say, "Okay, whose week is it to do breakfast dishes? . . . Ah, Janie! All right, girlfriend, get to work!" every morning as you're leaving the table?

[Mom2legomaniacs]

How does it happen that she doesn't do them? I mean, is breakfast an every-man-for-himself kind of thing, and she's just supposed to notice when it's over and do the dishes?

Or is it more like, you all get up from the table, you say, "Janie, it's your turn to do dishes this week," and she says, "'Kay, Mom!" and goes off and checks email?

In either case, I just don't expect my 10yo to remember chores like that. I expect him to do them when I ask, immediately, cheerfully, and well. But I don't think of it as a bad thing that I have to say, "Okay, kiddos, it's Weds night. Could you put the trash out for tomorrow?" as long as he says, "Sure, Mom!" and goes and does it. Him doing it without being reminded is just not a hill that's even on my map, much less one I want to die on.

Does it seem like it would be a problem for you to just say, "Okay, whose week is it to do breakfast dishes? . . . Ah, Janie! All right, girlfriend, get to work!" every morning as you're leaving the table?


Yep. It is normal at this age, to "forget" things easily. It is a developmental thing and not intentional (usually). I don't expect mine to remember either. Just like Sarah, I do expect compliance when asked and/or reminded though.