Bomb has hit my homeschooling schedule HELP!!!

[Jeana]

I have a 10(11 in May)ds, 8(9 in April) dd and now just turned 5 yr old ds. I have been very blessed to have my mother staying with me for 6 wks and now she is GONE. My son just turned 5 and he lets off little "bombs" everywhere he goes. He is a product of my own unscheduling for him. He has always just done his own thing and the other two have followed a schedule pretty well. Now it seems everytime I begin to teach one of the others he has hurt himself, thrown something, broke something, aggravated bro. or sis, AHHHHHH!!!! What now. I have begun trying to teach him to read and he just doesn't seem to get it. He knows the poem from A-O, but when it comes to the letters or the sounds he really struggles. I found out yesterday that he CAN copy over words that I have written for him and likes it but really balks at me telling him how to do it. I don't let him get away with this. I won't let him down until he listens to instruction. Since he knows I mean it then he listens. He is ALL boy! Loves being outside doing whatever he wants. Hince why now he isn't wanting to be told to get on a schedule but I know that I have to do something as he keeps interupting everything. Any suggestions for how to get back to where I need to be. The other two are now getting distracted and not doing their work either. :confused::confused::eek::eek: Thanks for any help. Jeana

[Tina Duke]

I would make sure he has time with you.. doing school and otherwise.. but when it's time for you to be with the others you need to lay down the law...It sounds like he wants attention.. I would build him up when he is behaving...really encourage him but also let him know you mean what you say.. I'd be consistent.. both with his time and with your rules with him. Is there a special toy or craft (something simple that he can do independently), or a special show that he can watch while you're with the others. Sounds like you need some balance between not expecting too much from a lively 5yo boy and always expecting good behavioir.. I'ts a tough balance I know. My 5yo does a lot better when I make sure I'm spending time with him . HTH..
**edited to clarify: is there something *special* that he can do during that time you need to work with the others.. something he can do only during that time..to make it extra special and something he looks forward to

[Jeana]

Thanks. I will try these things. I need to get something for only that time. It is hard keeping it for just then. Also, just to clairfy I don't expect him to be perfect. That is the problem I haven't expected enough for far to long and now it is back firing on me. I am not going to force him to "do" school like I feel compelled to do because as you said he is soooo "lively" much more than the other two. He just wants to play and be a kid. I hope I am not remiss in thinking that he should be allowed to be a kid for a bit longer. I didn't do that with the other two because of the pressure of "Start at 5, read, write, math" Everyone else is doing it!!" Voices, voices, voices. What is your opinion. Should I make him follow WTM advice at such a young age? It did work for my other two. They are both academically very well off. So, poll, What's your opinion? Anyway, thanks so much for the advice and I will work on those suggestions.:)

[Trivium Academy]

I'll just offer a thought, my own boy is only 3 so please take it with a grain of salt. A possible solution might be to slowly start scheduling things, in small increments. How does he handle the family routine? Is there clear boundaries there? For meals, bedtimes, things you might do outside of the house? I would consider how he handles those events in his day and branch out from there, not making "structured" time about learning or school.

I would make pleasant scheduled times for him, for example- "at 4:00 pm today, Mom has a project for you." Then at 3:30 pm, I would start to transition him from whatever activity he's doing to be ready to spend some one on one time with you doing whatever you think he'll like. It can be playing with his toys, making something in the kitchen together or walking around the yard. It would probably be best to have an activity to do that requires 'finishing' so you can show him that you "finish" a project/activity. Talk about your actions, show him what type of behavior you KNOW (always use positive reinforcement) he can exhibit. At the end of the activity, clean up together and schedule the next day's activity with him at a certain time.

If he responds well, you'll have his cooperation and you can slowly build up to a more structured time with him. I don't consider this about academics at all, it's behavior.

I don't know if this helps at all. Good luck.

[Tina Duke]

I'll just offer a thought, my own boy is only 3 so please take it with a grain of salt. A possible solution might be to slowly start scheduling things, in small increments. How does he handle the family routine? Is there clear boundaries there? For meals, bedtimes, things you might do outside of the house? I would consider how he handles those events in his day and branch out from there, not making "structured" time about learning or school.

I would make pleasant scheduled times for him, for example- "at 4:00 pm today, Mom has a project for you." Then at 3:30 pm, I would start to transition him from whatever activity he's doing to be ready to spend some one on one time with you doing whatever you think he'll like. It can be playing with his toys, making something in the kitchen together or walking around the yard. It would probably be best to have an activity to do that requires 'finishing' so you can show him that you "finish" a project/activity. Talk about your actions, show him what type of behavior you KNOW (always use positive reinforcement) he can exhibit. At the end of the activity, clean up together and schedule the next day's activity with him at a certain time.

If he responds well, you'll have his cooperation and you can slowly build up to a more structured time with him. I don't consider this about academics at all, it's behavior.

I don't know if this helps at all. Good luck.

this is very good advice.... I agree.. it isn't about academics.. it's about discipline. I'm not a big fan of doing a rigorous *school* program with a just turned 5yo boy. With my oldest ds (who is now 12) we did lots of fun hands-on type stuff...we *did* do academics (math.. miquon with rods, playntalk phonics and tons of reading), library visits, cooking together, nature walks, playing games (it's amazing what you can learn having fun), Now with my 6yo ds (I forgot and called him a 5yo earlier.. he just had a birthday .. anyway.. it's harder to make time to do as much of this as I"m working with my older ds and I have a 2yo girl but.. I *do* make time for some of this.. I want him to love learning.. that said we keep the lessons short and I follow his lead.. I think the key is to hook them in and let them have fun with it and follow their lead when they start to squirm. That said I do think it's important that children are obedient and not disruptive to the other family members. Follow your heart and you can't go wrong. This is such a fun age.. try not to stress about academics too much and have fun together. Blessings to you!

[Narrow Gate Academy]

The reason we originally started a schedule was to keep my youngest from getting into trouble or getting lost in the shuffle. A few ideas:
1. Have a set time of the morning when he gets one on one time with you while the other 2 our working independently. Whether you read, do some school, or just play together probably isn't as important as him just knowing that he gets his own time with Mom. Even if we're not running a full schedule here (like summer time), my youngest still wants his morning mommy time as scheduled because he looks forward to it.
2. When you need to work one on one with one of your older children, have the other child take a break to play with your 5yo. It not only gives the older child a break, but it helps to form a relationship between the two siblings (understand of course that when you start this, there may be a transition time of helping the two learn to get along and enjoy each other).
3. Since he's used to making choices, I would start filling in some of the extra free time by giving him a suggestion of 3-5 activities which he can do.

HTH

[MelissaMinNC]

advice for you, I don't know. At "just turned 5" I think I would be less concerned that he doesn't want to do his own schooling - I personally don't think 5yos need a whole lot of academic or seatwork. But I would be highly concerned that he keeps interrupting the work you're trying to do with the others. I have been having the same issue with my 3yo - every time I sit down with dd, he is yelling, dropping something, making a mess, getting hurt, you name it. So, I wrote out a schedule that allows me to alternate between the two in 15 min. chunks. 15 minutes of work with dd, then she does 15 minutes of something independently and I play with him. I tell him, "I'm going to work with Sister until the timer goes off - you play quietly. If you can play by yourself and not interrupt us, I'll play with you as soon as the timer goes off." It works surprisingly well, except for when it doesn't. ;) Sometimes, I find that he just wants to be involved in what we're doing - but it has to be his idea. If I ask him to sit at the table with us, he almost certainly won't care to, but if I tell him he may go play, he might come wandering in a few minutes later, wanting to do school also. We pull out a workbook or some scrap paper and crayons, whatever he's interested in, and he'll do that for a few minutes, then wander off again.

I have no idea if something like this would work for you, or how you might implement it with 3 kids (maybe you can have the oldest play with the youngest for a few minutes, while you work with the middle, then rotate???), but I thought I'd throw it out there.

GL,
Melissa

[Jeana]

My ds is ok to follow into the schedule with breakfast, lunch, dinner, reading time etc. However, when its time for me to do school with the others it starts going a little wild. It has been ok for a long time he would just do his own thing ie. play outside, with toys, etc. But now there seems to always be something not going right. The other two are pretty good about reading to him or playing with him as long as like someone else said it's his idea. I havn't been as strict with him but I also haven't let him just get away with everything. He has time out for discipline etc. I just realize that now I have to put more structure to his day so that there isn't more work and interruptions for me to take care of. I realize that I don't spend a lot of one on one time with him during the day. I have always done this at night before bed so I will try to have more increments through the day. Thanks again ladies! You would think I would have the answers to all this since I have already done it twice before. My first two were 23 mths apart so I guess it was a little different. Now I have a 4 and 6 yr age gap. I shall press on! :)

[Michelle My Bell]

My own 5 year old dd does school with her sisters. When we are doing history, she colors pictures I copy out of the books, I also try to have things on hand that she can do herself, such as Kumon workbooks (she adores these).

I have also begun incorporating Charlotte Mason handiwork into her day. Recently I have been giving her little sewing projects. I cut out a squirrel out of brown felt and she sewed all the way around it using a blanket stitch. Then she stuffed it. Finally we glued on a wiggly eye.

You could do more boyish activities that he could work on right there with you while you work with the other kids. Just give him lots of things to keep him quiet and busy in your presence. Also, don't give him an option. Just tell him it is time to sit and listen and color or do your project. It is time for his school. Make it sound official.

Michelle