Helping siblings stay in touch

[Gwen in VA]

What do you do to encourage older siblings at college or beyond to stay in touch with younger siblings still at home?

[Laurie4b]

What do you do to encourage older siblings at college or beyond to stay in touch with younger siblings still at home?

Great question. I'm 10 years older than my youngest sister and I had no idea of how profoundly my going 8 hours away to college impacted her. I didn't find out until I was an adult. My parents didn't recognize it.

I have a friend who actually went to counseling after her sister left for college

I would think in homeschool families, where the kids have been together even more, that the effect would be even stronger. I'll be following this thread with interest.

[PamInGA]

Facebook is very good. I'm from a family of 8 kids and we are all much older now and most of us have Facebook accounts.... it is nice to get on and have some quick note from someone far away yet close to our hearts.

[Ria]

Facebook and texting on their cell phones helps a lot. The youngest boys don't have phones, but they use Facebook.

Ria

[LizzyBee]

My sisters and I went to college pre-internet. My older sisters used to write letters to those of us still at home, and they'd let us take turns sleeping with them when they were home for the weekend. After the older ones graduated, they'd pick us up and take us to stay for a week at their homes (4 hours away in the big city :001_smile: ), and we'd get to go shopping and eat in nice restaurants. My oldest sister would have her mil babysit us when she had to work while we were there. By the time my 3rd sister went to college, I was in high school. I would go visit her for a week or long weekend, and I'd stay in her dorm room and read or watch TV while she was in class.

[ereks mom]

Dh & I also text him and talk with him on Facebook. None of us e-mails each other very much. It's not as instantaneous as texting or chatting online. (Isn't it funny how we now don't consider e-mail instantaneous!!)

[Nan in Mass]

My husband had the brilliant idea of giving the boys snowboarding for Christmas. If they go together, we pay for the lift tickets and lunch. We did this when my oldest was a senior in high school and his brother a freshman. The result was a very close sibling relationship. We laugh about it because the end result was that he paid for brotherly closeness. If you'd asked us earlier, we would have told you that it wasn't something money could buy LOL. Last summer, before the older one went to college, my husband had another good idea: he bought a family cell phone plan, told the oldest we'd pay for his phone (not something we'd done in the past) and got a phone for the younger one and me (we told our youngest son, the third brother, that he could use mine whenever he wanted). Phone calls between the phones are free. We also ok-ed facebook for the middle one, and got the youngest an email account.

For myself, email works well to stay in touch because it is asynchronous.
-Nan

[Mandamom]

I am 13.5 years older than my youngest sister and I have to say that I probably in didn't stay in very good touch with her while I was in college and in my early 20's. I did talk to her some and saw her regularly but it was in passing.

Since she got into high school and I was in my 30's we are now really close. I talk to her more than I do my other sister who is 2 years younger than I am.

I have had several conversations over the years with my oldest stepsons (16 and 13) reminding them of their responsibility to their younger siblings. Up until 2 years ago they were all living together and now that they are not they still make a good effort to come for week-end visits. I hope that over the years they manage to stay close even if during the teen years communication isn't what it should be.

[Margaret in CO]

I echo the FB idea. And the unlimited texting. The other thing we've done is ship some of the youngers off to the oldest dd's grad school for a few days. My third was having a really rough time last fall--she couldn't run after her ankle surgery and was just generally miserable to live with. They week they spent together was priceless. I've sent my 13yo off for several weekends in Boulder. My dd's quartet adopted him. I need to get dd #4 off this next year as my oldest dd will only have one more year before she marries. My three oldest are running the Bolder Boulder together next weekend. Unfortunately, my 2nd dd can't host younger brother or sisters as she's at the Naval Academy. However, she tries to spend as much time with them as she can on leave. The children all write each other once a week.

[LaJuana]

Since we added unlimited texting to our phone plan, my children have been in touch with one another multiple times during the day. It has been an excellent way to facilitate what they already wanted to do--stay in touch with the family. It also has been really good for the youngest, who is the only one left in our home school. He misses his college siblings.