I need encouraging stories from parents who have small children

[Jennifer in MI]

My 2 yo dd has officially dropped beneath the growth charts in weight (She just hit 21 pounds and she's 25 months old.). She dropped significantly in height (33") and head circ as well, but she's still on the chart.

My doc doesn't seem too concerned. We're to try to have her eat more fatty foods (healthy ones) and come back in for a weight check in 6 weeks. My dd is perfectly healthy (hardly ever gets sick), climbs, runs, talks (talks so others can understand her!), etc.

Our doc did mention an endocrinologist, but said that in all of his years of practice in sending kids over, he's never seen a problem.

I'm comfortable with waiting, but I need to hear stories from other parents who have small children who end up being okay. Dh and I and our other kids are all tall. None of us followed the same curve that dd is. (This is what concerns me the most - if any of the rest of us were small, I wouldn't worry.)

Also, ideas for snacks that have lots of calories and fat? She eats pretty well - yogurt, cheese, meats, tuna, fish, rice, potatoes, eggs, fruit, etc. She eats three good meals/day and snacks quite often inbetween. She didn't have any sugar before her 2nd birthday, when she had some cake. But, we don't offer sugar snacks at home at all. I'll be adding olive oil to nearly everything, but I need more ideas!!

TIA!!!

[Mrs. H.]

Well, add a pat of butter to anything you give her, buy whole milk (even if it's just for her), and the occasional bowl of ice cream or whole-fat yogurt might be good for her as well. I've also heard that bananas can help with weight gain. Make sure she's getting whole-fat cheese and not low-fat too.

All of my dc (except the last one) were way down on the growth charts, usually around 5% or so. I've had some peds. tell me this is because they redid the charts a few years ago because kids are getting so much bigger, and that my dc would have been normal on the old charts. As long as my dc weren't suffering in any other way (developmentally, physically, etc.) our peds. never really worried about it, and they've all leveled out somewhat, although they are all still thin, but both dh and I were when we were kids too.

I always had a problem with peds. telling me to let my kids eat cookies, soda, cake, etc. The REASON my dc don't gain weight well is that their favorite snacks are fruit and veggies with ranch dip. My kids love fruits and veggies, and they give you lots of vitamins and energy, but they definitely don't help with packing on the pounds.

Bottom line: you're probably feeding her just fine, and if developmentally she's normal, and physically she's healthy, I wouldn't worry about her.

[Ria]

My oldest son sounds just like your dd. By age 2, he was at the 5th percentile on the growth charts; to make him look even tinier, of course, it just so happened that his twin sister was always in the 95th percentile. This stayed the same until the twins were 14, at which time my son fell completely off the chart. Was I worried? You bet. By that time, his twin was a full 8 inches taller than him. I felt bad for him - they looked years apart in age. He always had a healthy appetite and was extremely active. We upped his caloric intake when he was 15 (I'd make a milkshake daily, and we bought snacks like nuts and granola bars...even the occasional Snikers bar). By age 15 he began his growth spurt. Today the twins are almost 19 and Dan is 5' 10" (and his twinnie? She stopped at 5'5"...and yep, Dan is loving every minute of towering over her!).

I wouldn't worry too much. Your doc sounds reasonable.

Ria

[Jodi-FL]

She's very small and was our smallest baby, always petite, etc. I was concerned and kept in touch with our doctor about it, then I read Mary Lou Retton's autobiography, and read her story and was encouraged. She's the youngest of 5, and the only one who didn't reach 5' by the time she was a teenager. Everyone else in her family is average or tall, but she's always been very short (and small).

Keep feeding her whole milk products and in touch with the doctor, and see how things progress.

[Margaret in CO]

I had one not on the charts. She finally went up to the 2nd percentile--lots of talk about growth hormone. Well, at 14, she grew 10 inches and put on 30 pounds. She's still a lean gymnast and only 5' 4", which is short for our family. Well, she might end up shorter than her sisters at 5' 9" and 5' 10". Oh well. She's started her period, so probably won't grow more than one more inch. However, our family (with the exception of #2) grows late--dh grew after we were married. Dd#1 grew as a junior in college. She was excited to catch up to her younger sister, who then grew as a freshman in college. My ds is shorter than the Webelos in Scouts that he's a Den Chief for. He'll grow. My children all eat like horses...

[sclisa]

My 2nd dd was very small also. She had some medical issues which may have contributed, but they were all resolved by the time she was about 4, and she stayed tiny for years. I remember that she was 19 pounds when she turned 2. She could still wear size 6 month pants, albeit as capris.

She remained at the bottom of the growth chart until this year (she's now 12). Her doctor was still concerned about her height since she began the whole puberty thing this year. So, we went to an endocrinologist per his request, they measured her at 5 feet even, and we were told that she'll likely not grow much more than one or two more inches, but she's perfectly healthy. She's still thin, and she'll never be tall, but she's closer to the 25 percentile rather than falling off of the growth chart. Oh, and the reason that she's only at the 25th percentile even at 5 feet is because they've factored in the whole puberty/not likely to grow much more thing.

Anyway, she's perfectly fine and beautiful...and just happens to be petite. This is most likely the case in your situation as well. :)

Lisa

[Dana in OR]

Actually 4 out of 5 of our dc are pretty small but one in particular is *very* petite, our 7yo dd. Several aunts/cousins on my dh's side are small like this and we have watched them grow up to be small but very healthy, athletic adults. It's funny because it seems that the kid either "gets" the small gene or not - other siblings have completely different body types. We have never been particularly stressed about it given our family history.

On the plus side, my sister in laws get some great clothing deals on sale, (size 0-2) since often those sizes are hard to sell!

[Karen in CO]

Both of my dd's are like that. My 7yo was at best 15% on weight and height until the last few years. Now at 7 she weighs 50 lbs and is wearing a size 8.

My 3yo dd started off life at 7lb 6oz. At two she was 19lb. At three she was 24lb. She dropped from 15% and 5% to somewhere below the charts. She is happy and growing on her own little curve. The doctor continues to say "look at the child." She is making her own progress. She is currently 25lbs amd very healthy and active.

And me. I am not sure how small I was but I remember that I was wearing a size 4 in first grade. I was a size 0 in 9th grade and short. Over one summer before I turned 16, I grew from 5'2" to 5'7".

Look at the child not the chart.

[Lolly]

My kids are all tiny toddlers. My first dd was wearing 12 and 18 mth clothing at 2. She was under the charts for height and weight. We just assumed she had both of her grandmothers genetics for petitness which was fine with us. Her pediatricians knew the family genetics and were not surprised at all. She started growing at 3 and, with a lot of pain, was considered tall by age 4. Her weight was still very low. Around age 10, she was average and skinny. Age 11, she was short. She also didn't have any signs of puberty starting at age 12. At the time, she was about 75 lbs. At 13 she started having hormones running fast and tremendous growing pains again. Literally overnight (we had measured her before bed and upon rising because she felt like she had grown) she grew almost a full inch. Within a few months, she was back to being average. At 15, she is a very average sized girl. She is pretty much finished with her growth at this point. She does have a whole bunch of stretch marks because of her extremely rapid growth. I keep hoping that they will fade liek I keep promising her. She is now 5'7".

My other two girls have followed the same path of growing after they turned 3. THey did proceed a little more normally after that, with one hitting puberty at 11 and the other following big sis's pattern of 13. She never really seemed shorter than average though because she is going to be taller than most when she is done. These two are currently 5'5" (most likely finished) and 5'8" (and still growing). The taller one is very proud that she has broken the 95 lb mark now! In Sept. she was 5'4" and under 90 lbs. Her weight should end up on the thin but normal range.

When ds was in for his 1 yr checkup, we had a new dr in the practice. She proceeded to tell me that ds would most likely not be a very tall adult. Most likely, he would be lucky if he was able to read 5'4". We should probably start considering our options to help him grow bigger... I actually laughed at her. I assured her that ds would grow once he turned 3. Sure enough, ds grew after his 3rd birthday. At 6 everyone assumed he was 9. At about to be 11, he is a wee bit taller than average. He will most likely hit his puberty growth spurt at 13 or 14. Current growth predictions say he will be around 6'4". My "mama radar" predicts 6'2". I've been right on target with the girls so far, bet I'm right with him too.

[cin]

Both of my girls are adopted from Asia. That said....my youngest, from China, is 3 1/2 yrs old and weighs 27 lbs. depending on the brand, she can wear a size 18 mos. This is what our doctor said. She is playing, running, has no shortness of breath, blue lips or fingernail beds when she plays. She does not have any pain (aside from when she falls, which she does frequently!) so there is no indication that anything is wrong. One of my fellow Vietnam adoptee parents has a small son. He plays soccer and is a typical, active little boy. He is SMALL. Her pediatrician (caucasian, not familiar with Asian sizes) sent the child to a endocrinologist for Failure to Thrive...They went, the endocrinologist said basically the same thing. He's growing, he's active. What's the problem? Mom has a new pediatrician.

All that said....I would take into consideration your child's behavior and their growth curve. If it is somewhat constant, then I would not be concerned. If they suddenly stop growing, their activity level drops off, then I would be concerned.

Please note that I am NOT a doctor, just have experience with teeny tiny kids!

[abbeyej]

Jennifer,

I've mentioned before my concerns about dd, who will be six this month. in December (69 months old), we finally went for a bone age x-ray, and it said her bones appeared to be those of a 48 month old. This is good news, because it means her body doesn't think she's a really, really short almost-6yo -- it thinks she's a fairly short 4yo. Most children with this pattern hit puberty later, but do eventually reach a size within the normal range (though the lower end of normal). Our ped figured that, based on her adjusted bone age, dd will likely be around 5'-5'1". ... So we're waiting and watching too. If dd maintains her growth curve on the adjusted charts (plotting her as if she were 21 months younger than she is), we won't worry -- if she dips down further, that's when we'll go to the endocrinologist.

We haven't had to worry about weight though. While dd has been at the bottom of the charts for weight since the middle of her first year of life, she has always been roughly proportional with her height. In your case, is there a *significant* difference between where your dd is in terms of height and weight on the charts -- or is it just a matter of being "barely on the charts" or height and "just a little below" for weight? What if you put your finger on her height on the charts, then slide it backward to where you hit the 50th percentile line. If you look at the age where she hits that, and then at her current weight based on *that* age, what percentile is it? Now do the same starting with her current weight -- slide back till you meet the 50th percentile line, then look at her current height as if she were that age. How different are the height and weight percentiles in that case? If they're really not that far apart, and you know she's eating well, I wouldn't worry too much that she weighs so little.

All that said, for getting more calories into her... Will she eat avocados or homemade guacamole? It's hard to get a food that's both as nutritious and as calorically and fat-dense as avocado. :) Some kids will simply eat wedges of avocado. Some like it mashed with a little lime juice, or even in guacamole as a dip for chips or pita wedges or carrot sticks, etc. Hummus is another dip that's nutritious but can be high in calories and fat (from the olive oil and the tahini). I'd be hesitant to give her nuts because of her age (and am I mixing you up with someone else, or is one of your boys allergic?), but raw sunflower or pumpkin seeds might be good snacks for her. Sunflower butter is yummy with lots of fat and calories too. (I don't know of a brand that's made with raw seeds and doesn't add sugar and salt though, if that's important to you -- it might be possible to make your own.) Edamame and olives are both nutritious and higher in fat and calories. Butter and cheese will, of course, add calories and fat to almost anything in a yummy way. And there's always bacon. ;)

If you're worried, I vote for going to the endocrinologist. Or ask for a bone-age x-ray (if they do them on 2yos -- I'm not sure -- but it's probably the first thing the endo would do anyway). With children with "constitutional growth delay", it's normal for them to lose ground on the charts starting some time after birth and continuing to about age 3. Apparently they usually maintain wherever they are on the curve from about 3 on (below the growth charts, but roughly parallel -- or on a curve that matches their bone age rather than their chronological age). For dd, I think she continued to fall a bit at age 4 and into age 5, though I *think* maybe she has steadied now.

Does your dd show any other signs that there could be something wrong? Constant loose stools or any developmental lags, signs of allergies (skin problems or circles under her eyes)? Or does she seem very healthy but tiny? Despite all my worries, I can't argue that dd is anything but bright, active and healthy. :) Which helps calm me down when I worry because her friends all like to pick her up and carry her around like a doll. :rolleyes:

[Jann in TX]

'Failure to Thrive'...it seemed like a funny label at the time. Yes, she was very tiny--but she was walking at 7-months (She pulled up on furniture at 4 months) and running by 9 months. She had advanced verbal and cognitive skills for a toddler. She wore the same size clothes as her little sister --who was 2.5 years younger!.

We were told by the 'specialists' that she would just be small--maybe 5'. Well, she went through puberty at 12 and then grew 7+ more inches--she is now 17 and is only 1/2 inch shorter than me...and I'm not sure if she is finished yet!

Anyways...I do not buy in to the 'only grow 1 more inch after puberty' business... Personally I grew 8 more inches! I think it is more genetic.

[akmommy]

My youngest nephew was very small for his age till he hit puberty. Actually all the boys in my family are on the small side but my nephew was really small. At birth he and my oldest DD (they are five months apart in age) were the exact same weight and length but by 6 months old his growth just seemed to slow down to a crawl. He started kindergarten 2 weeks before his 6th b-day wearing 3 and 4T's. Until this last year my DD was always a good head taller then him, now they are about the same height.
He was always very healthy though and his doctor never felt it was anything to be concerned about.

HTH

[Mrs Mungo]

My children are small but I've had such a hard time about it from doctors (been sent to the nutritionist many times, etc) that I really don't want to talk about it. I'm small, my husband is small, my kids are healthy and active I *really* wish the medical community would throw away their crappy growth charts.

[Janet in WA]

Our doc did mention an endocrinologist, but said that in all of his years of practice in sending kids over, he's never seen a problem.We were in the same boat with our middle son. Our pediatrician did refer us to an endocrinologist for a growth study "just to be sure". But, as he predicted, there was no problem to be found -- just a kid who was meant to be small.

[tess in the burbs]

both of my kids are small and were not on the growth charts. I think both are now at 3% and 5%. they are 6 and 4.5 years old.

I never fed them fatty foods to help gain weight. I fed healthy meals with healthy snacks. I was super skinny as a child, but now have thyroid issues as an adult unable to lose the weight this problem has caused. They do say I have a genetic thyroid disease and it's why I was so skinny for so many years.

Just feed them healthy. They will grow. They will fine. It's ok not to be on the charts....my kids have never had problems being small. besides, you get your money out of the clothes when they can wear them 3 years in a row ;)

[abbeyej]

...besides, you get your money out of the clothes when they can wear them 3 years in a row ;)

True, but *man* do I get sick of seeing the same ones for sooooo long! ;) Dd has "caught" me a couple of times trying to donate clothes that still technically fit her, but that I was sick to death of seeing. "But Mommy, these aren't too small!" Nooooooo! (Okay, usually this happens with the really ugly things some family member or other gives her -- things I would never have bought in the first place, 'cause they were tacky to begin with, and now there's no hope that she'll outgrow them before I have to see their hideousness over and over and over and...) ;)

[Danestress]

My twins were always totally off the chart small until they were three or so - maybe older. I remember when they were small babies going into the pediatrician's office, and a woman outside waiting mentioned that her child was at 10% on the growth chart. I felt so sorry for her. I didn't know what to say. It seemed so dreadful...... until I went in and saw the doctor and found out that my children weren't even ON the chart, lol.

I think they are pretty normal height now. One is still quite thin. But my six foot tall husband weighed 125 when he graduated from high school. No joke. That's less than I weighed and he lettered in 4 sports! Unfortunately, he's not still super thin.

Anyway, I don't know if you should worry or not. If your doctor isn't worried, I wouldn't either. To be honest, I wasn't particularly worried about mine when they were measuring so small. They were healthy except for some cranio-facial issues. Maybe I was worried enough about those issues that their size seemed relatively insignificant.

[qfbrenda]

All my boys are on the small side. Of the older 3, 2 of them are in the 10th percentile for weight. Our biggest boy is in the 25th percentile.

But I've had 2 be *really* small. My now 8 yr old was 17 lbs at a year, and finally got to 20 lbs right before he turned 2yrs. I got lots of grief because not only was he small, he was a BOY and small. The charts say boys should be bigger. :rolleyes: He's still skinny as a rail.... he's 8.5 yrs and finally 53 lbs. He's always been active and busy.

Now I'm going through it again. My 15 month old is 17 lbs and a tiny little thing. He has a good appetite, is very healthy, walks well.... he even has a word, which is the earliest of all of my kiddos. But I get grief for his size all the time.

It doesn't help that all of my kids have big heads, so they look out of proportion for years. :rolleyes:

I keep trying to tell people that my family is just small... :p

[Jennifer in MI]

Thank you everyone!!! (Sorry for the delay in posting - we had guests all weekend!)

I too wish they'd throw away the charts. Dd is very active and talks up a storm. She doesn't seem to have any allergies (no dark circles, behavior issues, etc). And, she eats a LOT!! Maybe she just has a high metabolism.

Abbey - you are right - I do have an older ds with a peanut/tree nut allergy. So, I'm not giving her nuts. She does love sunflower seeds though! Thank you for the information about shifting my finger back to the 50% to check that way. I'm off to do that right now. She's 10% for height - so a bit bigger. She's always been small, but she's definately dropping in everything - she has been since birth though.

I also KWIM about getting sick of their clothes!!! Meg has an outfit that she's been able to wear since she was under one year. She'll still be able to wear it next year too (it's one of those Hanna Andersson outfits with the cuffs). I'm getting so sick of it!!!

Anyway, thank you all so much for sharing your stories!!! I feel better!

[Excelsior! Academy]

My 2nd dd was 14 lbs at one and 20 lbs at two. All of my kiddos are little. Maybe it's because DH's sister is only 4'10" and a lot of my great aunts can walk under my arm....and I'm only 5'4". Tell that to our Dr. :rolleyes:

Fortuneately they all eat every vegetable and fruit. We always get to buy full fat milk and cheeses. My girls are healthy and can even out run all of the boys. I personally think the "charts" are baloney!

[mommylaw]

I didn't read the other responses, but I suggest supplementing meals with Pedisure. It's worked wonders for my little guy. Good luck!

[Jennifer in MI]

I personally think the "charts" are baloney!

Amen to that!!!

I didn't read the other responses, but I suggest supplementing meals with Pedisure. It's worked wonders for my little guy. Good luck!


How little was your guy? I worry about something like Pediasure because it's so processed. I wonder if adding our own homemade "super" shake would work though - maybe add some cream in it for fat with fruit and veggies. I used to do this daily, but it's been so cold! Thanks for the idea though!!

[Heather in the Kootenays]

My dd was labeled "failure to thrive" and sent for x-rays of her growth plates when she was around 3. She's now a perfectly healthy and normal sized 15 yo. All that worry for nothing.

[tess in the burbs]

I pulled out all my dd's 3T shirts today since her belly is hanging out.....but all her 3T pants fit her waist....but all are highwaters!

and yes, the only clothes that seem to fit are funky colors/designs that I hate!

I wish I could sew better to make my dd's clothes......